Energy Drink Roundup

Mana Potion

Manufacturer: Mana Potions
Typical Price (UK): £3.49 (inc VAT)
Typical Price (US): $6.90 (exc tax) for two, +$7.81 shipping and handling

Harry: Our two remainders are quite small, so is it just me and Mark that’s gonna do them?

Clive: We can get four small servings out of those.

Rich: Four small teaspoons maybe? That’s probably all you’ll need.

Clive: So, the first one looks like one of those energy potions from an RPG.

Harry: It’s a Mana Potion

Mark: It looks like it’s from Gummy Bears.


All Yeah, Gummy Bears.

Clive: Weird thing is, a while ago, before Mark had joined, I was talking about Gummy Bears in the office and everyone just looked at me blankly like I was insane. Like, what are you talking about?

Rich: Gummy Bears are awesome!

Clive: That’s what I tried to tell everyone.

Rich: Yeah, they just bounced around. It was like condoning drugs from children.

Clive: They were! Yeah!

Rich: They went out to the forest, they picked random berries, and they got high.

[Laughter]

Rich: And then they imagined they were being chased by…

Harry: Ha! It’s all imaginary!

Clive: It was goblins working with humans or something wasn’t it?

Rich: I can’t remember.

Clive: It was brilliant though.

Mark: Definitely brilliant.

Harry: Okay, so this is the Mana Potion.

Clive: Ooo, that’s a bit… syrupy, isn’t it?

Harry: It’s super-syrupy

Clive: It’s quite a small little bottle as well… Oh, god, it looks like mouthwash…

Harry: It does! Yes, it does.

Mark: I’m so curious to taste it.

Rich: It’s not recommended for children under ten, right?

Mark: Oh my god, WTF, it smells like a urinal cake!

Rich: Oh, it does!

Harry: AAaaarrghgh, it does! I don’t wanna drink that! Oh, that’s offensive!

Mark: That’s so weird.

Harry: I don’t want to drink it. It’s like licking a toilet…

Rich: Go! Go!

[Harry drinks some Mana Potion and gags]

Harry: Yugh!

Clive: [Clive drinks some Mana Potion] Yagh! That’s horrible!

Harry & Clive: [Eith tongues hanging out] Water! Water!

Clive: I need some water, my tongue offends me!

Mark: That is disgusting!

Rich: I’m not gonna be drinking that one then

Mark: It’s like you’ve sucked on urinal cakes…

Harry: That’s quite possibly one of the most offensive things that’s ever touched my tongue. That’s horrible.

Mark: Yeah, I thought you guys were maybe just like being melodramatic. But you really weren’t. That’s…

Clive: Properly awful.

Harry: Mana Potion is a definite avoid.

Mark: Unless you’re into eating urinal cakes, and if you are…

Clive: If you are a tramp…

Rich: Yeah, if you’re that hungry… pick off the pubes and get it down you.

Harry: The Mana Potion does say ‘not recommended…’

Rich: For anyone?

Mark: For humans?

Harry: …For mortals under 12’. So I think we wouldn’t recommend that for mortals, period.

Mark: Ah, man, that’s so bad…

Clive: It’s like a potion of human poisoning +4…